He can count major names in entertainment as his fans including Ed Sheeran, Dannii Minogue and Russell T Davies – creator of Doctor Who, It’s A Sin and Queer as Folk, who said of this show “Ruthless honesty, brilliant insight and funny. What a presence, what a storyteller, what a talent”.
At the heart of this hour is a four-year relationship that left James questioning everything. His ex’s final words to his mother, written in a Christmas card - “Sorry I hurt your son” - became the title of a show that lays bare the complexities of queer domestic abuse, and makes you laugh while doing it.
Choosing to tell his story in a performance that is both funny and bittersweet, James takes the audience on an emotional rollercoaster offering a refreshingly bold take on the impact of abuse and the chaos that follows in an hour of poignant stand-up comedy.
On bringing his show to Brighton James says: Brighton has always felt like home to me. Growing up gay in Eastbourne, I used to sneak into Brighton’s gay bars underage and went to my first Pride there—it was the first place I ever felt like I truly belonged. Performing this show here is special because Brighton gave me safety and community when I needed it most. I also workshopped “Sorry I Hurt Your Son” at Brighton Fringe in 2023 and 2024, so bringing the full show back feels like a full-circle moment.
For James, laughter has always been a powerful weapon against life's harshest blows. With a clever mixing of tension and release, James’s experience of the cycle of abuse permeates the show, mirroring James’ lived experience and ultimate triumph.
By speaking out about his experiences, James hopes to give voice for the one in five adults who experience domestic abuse in the UK in their lifetimes. This statistic is even higher for LGBTQ+ people, with reported domestic abuse rates one-third higher for Lesbian and Gay Individuals: 6% in the last year, compared to 4.5% for heterosexuals (Office for National Statistics 2025).
This journey started in 2023 with me simply writing down my feelings on a piece of paper and reading them aloud to an audience. Since then, it’s grown bolder, stronger, and funnier with every performance. The show itself has mirrored my healing process. Taking it to different audiences—at the Edinburgh Festival and as far as Australia—has pushed me to grow, both personally and as a performer. What my ex-boyfriend did to me isn’t my shame to carry, so I’m giving it back the best way I know how—by laughing at it. I’m so excited to bring this show on tour across the UK”James Barr
Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum) is a boundary-pushing stand against abuse, a call for awareness, and a boldly funny uplifting show of resilience - voiced with sharp, self-aware humour to break the silence that abuse so often brings.
Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum) is co-directed by Madeleine Parry, director of Hannah Gadsby’s Emmy Award-winning "Nanette"(Netflix Special).
James Barr was just named as one of the British LGBT Awards 2025 Top 10 Public Figures, is currently presenting every weekday across the UK on The Hits Radio Breakfast Show alongside Fleur East and Matt Haslam (Silver - Best Breakfast Show, ARIA Awards). His provocative appearances on Piers Morgan Uncensored have racked up over 15 million views and counting. He is also the co-founder and host of the UK’s top LGBTQ+ podcast, ‘A Gay And A NonGay’ which just won an Independent Podcast Award in the Best Sex, Love & Relationships category and has become a staple for audiences looking for authentic, funny, and thought-provoking discussions on modern relationships and LGBTQ+ life.