A friend of mine has recently moved house and discovered his old school reports.
He was a real swot. His reports were endlessly positive about how high-achieving he was. My school reports were rather different! This made me wonder what it was like to get such good reports all the time.
I suppose the first thing is that it would have been great for the parents to think that their child is doing well. It must have been encouraging to overhear them saying, ‘He’s doing really well at school: we are so proud.’ We should never underestimate the value of affirmation from members of the family.
My sources of encouragement did not come through positive school reports about academic work, but teachers somehow managed to find other reasons to speak up for me. I now realise how important it was for the encouragement I received at school to be related to what I enjoyed doing and thought I could do well.
But a second thing about those consistently good reports was more difficult. It was the burden of having to go on doing well all the time. And this was the worrying comment: that he didn’t seem to enjoy the subjects he was so good at.
But the story turns out well, with being happily married, raising a family and wondering about what choice of schools there is, where they now live.
One lesson from this trip down memory lane is learning how best to offer young people at school or college a quality of consistent and realistic encouragement they will value.
Another lesson is how difficult it is for parents and grandparents to navigate a fast-changing world with its complex future. Let’s spare a thought for them.
And finally, the complexity of parenting well has also made me think of what how we understand God as a loving father: insightful, patient, scarily honest, and a person you would trust with your life. Totally.
Find your local Anglican church: ‘A Church Near You’ (www.achurchnearyou.com) enables you to easily see what services are being held by churches in your vicinity throughout the year.
Events and Services at Chichester cathedral: There are a host of events, concerts and special services on (including a Lent Course which started last week) at Chichester cathedral. Visit: www.chichestercathedral.org.uk/whats-on-chichester-cathedral to find out more.